Wednesday, March 23, 2011

I <3 Sunburn?!?

There is something completely enjoyable about a sunburn. No, really. They remind me of being care-fee. Today I got the first sunburn I’ve had in a very long time… and it feels good! Think about, was there ever a time where you got a sunburn and didn’t have a good time getting it? Swimming, vacationing, hiking, all worth the semi permanent sun damage.

My brother and I took the four wheelers out today, and mind you it was my first time. I am the cautious one and he has had like a billion trips to the ER. Interesting combo, we make. He’s flying off of jumps and I’m like yelling “brother, this is scary, go slower, I don’t like going down steep hills!” but it was fun, I loved it!

My parents are funny, its like they don’t believe I like enjoyable things. My interests include the news, debating, reading, coffee dates (according to my family). So whenever anything concerning adrenaline and/or risk catches my attentions my house freaks out a little bit. But I like to keep them on there toes, they never know what is around the corner for me. I have to outdo myself every time, so any ideas… hit me up.

But tonight as I sit with my eyes still stinging from all of the dirt that managed to get around my extra large lensed sunglasses and shiny pink face, I think about all of the times where I should have taken a risk. Some of these times I did came too late, but that is just Kara. Always maybe a little too cautious. I do think the world does need a few Kara’s though. If everybody operated like my brother, we would have a huge mess on our hands.

Safe is good, safe in comfortable. I haven’t a problem with safe, but that feeling of your heart picking up pace and blood thickening, the pressure. It’s some times needed!

4 wheeling 010

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Welcome Back.

hey there,

Yes, I know. It has been a while. BUT, debate is over and I may return to my blog. I finished the season up at the state tournament this last weekend, and it was bittersweet. I have definitely gained relationships that I never thought I would. I love my team so much. I literally talk about them wherever I go and I tell everybody (even strangers) about how great they are. I was even considering not going so far away for college because I wanted to stay close to them. On that note, I have decided to attend….

 

KANSAS STATE UNIVERSITY!

I am super excited, but at the same time I can’t believe I am doing this. The main reason I chose KSU is because of their killer speech team (which I have a scholarship for!) and the time I spent there has really had an impact on me, they were great and it just feels like a home away from home. I truly love it!

Again, I just can’t believe I am where I am today. So many things have changed for me in the last year it is crazy. I find myself wanting different things, not wanting others. I’m just stuck in this stage and I am sooo uncomfortable with it. I don’t know what I want, where I’ll be in five years, who I want to be with, what I want for lunch. Never in my life have I ever been so indecisive.

I often think I wish just had somebody to hold me so I could cry… but then I tell myself things will work themselves out and not to worry and that tears aren’t worth it. And then I use this term ‘things’ because I’m not sure what will work itself out. Things is a dirty word. It’s broad, it doesn’t describe anything in particular, it is just not me, and yet I keep using it loosely.  I throw it around like people will know what I’m talking about. But the truth is, I haven’t even come close to knowing what I want.

Last night an old friend asked me what I wanted to do after college, after letting out a deep sigh I replied, “I’ll figure it out, I just don’t know what I love yet” he thought that was an acceptable answer, and to a certain extent I do too. Except there is one thing I do know that I did love, though he never caught it. I’ll leave it at that.

All in all, I return from the nerd abyss slightly better than okay. I don’t think I’ve ever been this emotional and yet so hollow at the same time. Things are going somewhere, and that in the slightest is everything I could ask for, so I’m gonna do it up!

 

state 2011 050

My Wonderful Partner: Emma!