Finally. I return to my blog.
I’m noticing a pattern in my life, and I find it interesting. This thought of being open minded has just started sticking to me. My first hour is philosophy and pretty much the introduction to this class was about being open minded.
Now it just seems so weird to look at people who don’t have an open mind at all. I feel almost liberal. And as I think about the way I think, I have to thank my mom and dad. They have never pushed religion onto me, they have never suggested I become a member of a certain political party. Obviously, I have picked up on what they value and adapted it to myself but whatever I have thought differently about doesn’t upset them.
One of my friends’ family is very different from mine. They are a pretty traditional Mexican family, and from what I’ve witnessed, there is so much more control in their household than mine. My parents and I are open and talk and communicate and negotiate when needed. This friend’s sister is dating a guy none of her family is truly fond of and her mom holds so much against her for it. She lives at home and is far old enough to be living on her own but doesn’t because her mom would rather her live there. In America, even if our parents wanted us to stay we wouldn’t, but she has so much respect for her family that she does… until recently, any way. My friend called me to tell me that her sister had left and wasn’t coming back. Her mom had said that if she decided to marry this guy that there would be certain ramifications such as not having any contact with the rest of the family.
I love this family, they are so energetic, and bold, and full of life. They’re funny and crazy, but they lack understanding for each others feelings, almost. I didn’t even know really what to tell my friend, she was so mad at her sister for leaving, but I just can’t be. I’ve grown up in this world where my parents want me to live a life I call my own, a life I live for me.
And as much as I want to think that her mom is wrong, its just the difference in culture. They are very set on tradition and family morals; everything is very black and white, this or that, him or us.
What I find most saddening though is the fact that her mom will never change her mind, will never think that its okay for her sister to be with her boyfriend (they’ve been dating for close to 7 years and are now engaged, I guess). I want her mom to see how happy she is, how smart she is, how committed she is, and how strong she is. I’ve considered these people my family, they probably see me as much as my own family does. And I know they love each other, but they don’t show it the way my family does, and the are so set in their ways it pains me.
So, what do you think, is she being close-minded or just acting on what values that she was taught according to her culture?
And should it be our culture which defines the way we think, or is that something we just can’t help?
