I’m taking a short break to blog, I feel I need it. I should blog on a more regular basis because I always have a lot to say but it seems like a lot of the time things just all happen at once and my thoughts go about a million miles a minute.
My weekend started a little early with a High School Journalism Conference on Thursday at CSU-P. The speakers were not what I expected, and truthfully, I thought I was above most of them, however, it was a good place for me to get excited about my newspaper again. Yes, I call it my newspaper. I feel like its my senior project almost. The paper used to be so good and it was just let go. Even though it isn’t, I feel like its my duty to get it back up and running again. It’s special to me.
There is another thing about newspaper… I’m finding it harder than ever to draw a line between being friends and being a boss. One of my best friends is a staff member. She’s wild and crazy and I love her to death but I really want things to work out for the paper and I feel that because she has a grudge against the teacher at the moment and isn’t planning on sticking around next semester she’s in no way benefitting my job. I’m sort of at a loss, because this paper isn’t just for me, its for future students. I don’t know really what to tell her, or if I should tell her at all.
Among other things on my mind, my social life has been much different lately. I’m not sure I like it either. I’ve always been so introverted and cynical and nerdy, but lately I’ve been going out and hanging with some new people (wanting to hang with a few others… trying to make that work) but the more I do, the more I realize why I am who I am.
Example 1: Went to haunted houses this weekend and met this guy, who I wasn’t really interested in but he said he could maybe hook me up with a paranormal investigation, which id be all over in a heartbeat. But now, he txts me all. the. time. and oh yeah, calls me beautiful. what the hell? And mind you, this is the second guy in a row to throw that clingy shit on me! I am SO not about that.
Which leads me to the next thing on my mind: The moment a person (guy) tells me they admire my ambition and keep feeding me compliments, it is over. It sounds weird, but I never
It seems like I just keep getting deeper into my projects and become more okay with it. Today I totally felt like an assistant. I had to create a budget, and ive been taking/transferring calls all night. Right now I feel really balanced, and I’m just taking the punches as they come.
2 college apps down, and I'm really proud of myself for that! Things are feelin’ really good right about now! I’m really scared for college, but somebody told me yesterday that its okay if things change, and its okay not to know the next step, and I took that with as open mind as possible. I worry, but I feel a little bit better now.
So I suppose this break is over, I feel better writing (well duh, journalistic instincts) The rest of my night consists of more assistant work and texting my best friend about the soap opera shes watching on telemundo. love her!
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