catch UP

Woah! I have been uber busy, and haven’t blogged in forever.

Life… is… interesting. I have a ton of homework to do but I really don’t feel like doing it. I never feel like doing homework when I’m sad.

Tonight was the kick off to my speech and debate season, and I busted out as superior speaker, not too shabby.

This weekend I went to my bff’s homecoming with  a huge group and had the best night in a long time. Somebody told me the other night I was growing up too fast, and at first I sort of took offense to it… I really have no clue why. Maybe because I haven’t been a kid in so long or because this particular person I was always afraid would look at me differently because I’m younger than they are. Either way, I’ve always acted like I’m 24 (even before knowing this person).

With that in mind I had a blast Saturday night, I acted like I was in high school. And I know that is what high school is supposed to be like all the time, but it’s not me all the time.

After tonight, despite my winning, I feel sad and calm and lonely and sick. I think maybe because with every speech/debate event that takes place I’m that much closer to being done, I really do love it. But at the same time I’ve always hung with my older teammates and now I don’t really have any friends, so I’m lonely. I work hard and I’m drained. All I wanted to do was come home and talk to somebody (specific) but they are nowhere to be found in cyber space.

There are also two people from this weekend I would really like to talk to… but I might have to give that a little time.

Until then, I will mope and let my autumn scented candle burn away the bad feelings as I TRY to finish my dreaded Macbeth study guide.

Seeking Change.

 

Today before I went to my college class I stopped at Starbucks to grab a coffee. As I was leaving with my grande pumpkin spice latte in hand a man approached me in the parking lot.

The first words out of his mouth were “This is so embarrassing”. Before even telling me his situation he swore he didn’t drink, and he was practically in tears. He said that his daughter needed a prescription and he didn’t have the money to pay for it. He told me a lady had given him four dollars but the prescription was $ 17.00.

He didn’t look homeless. He definitely wasn’t Mr. Business, but he was clean enough.  I gave him the thirteen dollars he needed.

You’re thinking SCAM, right? I’m not so sure. He asked what my name was and grabbed my hand. He told me that he worked at a place down the street and that if I came in on Tuesday he would pay me back. I told him not to even worry about it.

Maybe he did scam me, but what if this was true? How many Americans can’t pay for medicine? I mean, it’s not out of the question that this was true.

I don’t think that I could have set through my class with my $ 4 coffee knowing that this guy was struggling to even provide for his child. The more I thought about it, the more I didn’t care if it was a scam. Sometimes you have to trust a stranger. That’s what is wrong with society. We’ve got so used to not trusting anybody that people think it is ok to lie. This guy could have been the best actor I’ve ever met, I mean I willingly handed him over my lunch money. But I refuse to be that person who turns into what society is making everybody out to be; cold, untrusting, and selfish. 

If he was lying, I hope he realized that there are so many people that are willing to help people in situations like his, but more importantly, there are more people who would have no trouble shrugging it off.

I don’t feel like I lost $13 today. I feel like I took a step in some right direction.

What would you have done? Honestly. 

9/11.

 

9/11. You remember where you were. I know I do.

I was in third grade. My teacher let us know what was going on very subtly during a snack break. I was in the bathroom and I didn’t get to hear what happened. I remember watching the news with my dad when I got home that night. I remember sitting on my parents bed and watching the planes fly in to the twin towers. I was 10 and that image will stick with me for the rest of my life.

It’s sort of crazy. It’s been 9 years since the attacks and it seems like time stood still on September 11, 2001. The whole world was watching while our country fell to its knees.

Tonight, I’m watching Remember Me, feat Robert Pattinson, (spoiler alert!!!). I cry every time. Everybody that died had a story, a family, a life, a meaning. I think that is what saddens me so much.

I want to take this chance to thank all of the service men and women who are fighting as a result of the terrorism attacks. That event forever changed your lives. It changed the course of America. We can fight about the reason why America is in Iraq and Afghanistan. We can stick to our party lines. We can blame and point fingers. But we can’t deny the fact that because of our military we are a safer, stronger nation.

I also want to thank the firefighters and police officers that responded that day. Dealing with disaster isn’t easy. What they put on the line is more than anyone could ask for and the police officers, especially, will always hold a special place in my heart. I can’t help but think that even 9 years ago, my life decisions were being decided by what I was witnessing.

I finally want to acknowledge the families of the victims of September 11. Their strength is part of what kept America together, in my opinion. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain. I don’t know anybody close to event but I wish them ease and comfort. It’s hard to find the words to describe these families because they are so strong.

9/11 isn’t an event that should be forgotten. It should be respected, by all walks of life, all religions. While unfortunate, its an important lesson, and continues to shape life as we know it.

Thank you.

Every Time I Hear That Song

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Outasight! This is from his newest album and it’s all pretty amazing, but when I wake up to this song it makes my entire day.

The lyrics, the beat, the laidback style. Each album has been a little bit different, but I like when artists do that.

This particular song (Never say Never) has pretty much been my mood lately, which is why I decided to share it.

I can’t really put my finger on it, but I’ve been in such a good mood lately. Everything is falling into place it seems like, and in all the right ways. Things that I’ve wanted for a long time are happening.

The only thing I could ask for is not being in high school? haha Don’t get me wrong, I’ll probably change my mind later but for now my number one goal for my few college classes im taking is that nobody find out that I’m in high school. LOL. Oh and I’ve put passing the classes on my goal list too, but that doesn’t seem as nearly as important at the moment.

Otherwise, things are good, feelin’ independent, feelin’ unusually chilled, and doing my own thing no matter what’s being said!

Tell me you love this as much as I do!

 

-- Kara <3

The Pieces Are Fitting Together Nicely

It' is 11 o’clock and I should be reading… or maybe sleeping?

But I don’t think I can.

These past two weeks I’ve been hatin’ on senior year and today, it all changed. Why? I am not sure, but I’m very, very excited about things. I’ve worked for a long time to get to the places I am, and maybe to a lot of people it’s not anywhere but I’m proud of myself. I’m in positions where I’m in charge, where I have a lot on my shoulders. Later on, I will complain about the stress but to me, it is all worth it.

During the summer, after my night shifts at the lake I would go to Liberty Point and I could see the lights from the campground and I knew that somebody in that campground was happy because of me. Now, that sounds so egotistical, right? but I’m serious. That’s sort of the feeling I have now. Like I’m doing things that matter to a lot of people, that matter to me. Best feeling ever.

I’ve never been told I couldn’t do something. I think this is all due to the fact that I would prove that person wrong in a relatively short amount of time, but I’m definitely doing things I didn’t imagine I’d be doing.

I also feel like the relationships that are most important to me are getting so much better. (well most of them) but I’m so proud of my brother these days. I’ve been supportive to the people that mean a lot to me. I’ve found people that I don’t want out of my life and I’m doing my best to keep them here. Other relationship(s) I feel are receding but it’ll all work out, right? Well, let’s hope.

My mom has been awesome lately. We’re currently making plans for fall and going and visiting a couple of colleges. It’s a good thing I always made my parents proud because none of this would be happening otherwise.

It’s a good life. It’s my life. And it’s fabulous!

<3 Kara

Can’t Quit!

I’ve been thinking. hard. And its like one of those thinking moods where you really don’t realize what is going on around you, and then you become all paranoid about stuff because you weren’t paying attention. yeah, it’s weird.

Any way, I started school (duh, all i talk about) and my job is seasonal and I’m supposed to be ending around the beginning of October. It’s super hard to balance everything I have at school not to even mention work. Tonight, I sold over a thousand dollars and it’s not even labor day weekend yet. crazy, i know!

So I’ve seriously been considering ending my job earlier. And for most people it’s like yeah no big deal. But for me it’s a huge deal! It’s all I think about. During the middle of the season I wanted to quit because I was so unhappy and stressed and nothing was going right, but things sorta turned around and I really like it out there, overall, I’ve always loved working at the lake!

But it’s senior year, I have college applications, scholarships, school work, extra curricular stuff (that im in charge of =] ). I really want to just focus on all of that but my boss is one of the people I just can’t let down. You know those people who you’d do anything for. He’s always been super patient with everybody, even when I was new and hadn’t a clue what I was doing. He is very flexible with my schedule and when we were texting last night and I was asking about our end date and perhaps ending early he was like “yeah, whatever makes this burden easier to bare”. It makes me feel so guilty! I don’t know what to do! oh, it’s so hard to decide. My problem is I’m so dedicated to everything I do, and I think I do it all well.

AHH I don’t know what to do!

Kara Mason: Senior Year.

Senior year. It’s here.

It’s too soon to tell but I think (hope) its just going to go SO fast. I have five classes at the high school and two at Pueblo Community College. I know I’m going to love my AP Language class. It’s pretty much rhetoric and I love that!

My schedule is so weird though. I don’t know how that’s going to go. I go in at 730 have Botany followed by AP Lang and then Weights. I get 4th, 5th, 6th hour off for PCC classes and then back to the high school for Adv. Speech and newspaper (which happen to be the same hour). But having those three hours off in the middle of the day is sorta nice! Like from 11-3 im free so I can shop… or go eat lunch… or take a nap!

I was talking to my friend Breanna at lunch today and I decided that I don’t really like being a senior because all throughout high school I always fit in better with people who were older than me and now that I’m the oldest its like a lot of the people I identified with are gone. Just one more year, its what I keep telling myself.

I’m excited to rock out debate again and FBLA. Those always get me excited! But a couple of girls I know want to start a Young Republicans club at our school and I told them I’d be totally down for helping but now I’m sort of wondering if that is what I really want because even though I relate to a lot of republican ideals… I’m pretty open to other ideas and more liberal thinking. So, I don’t know what I’ll do with that yet.

Some of my senior pics are finally up on facebook! Check out Looking Glass Photography. I had a little bit of a meltdown that day but I think my pictures are going to come out good!

More to come!

-Kara