Here’s to another backward HS drama.

Its 12:19 am. Which means its officially April 1st. Which also means today is prom.

And my emotions are mixed on this particular subject.

People have told me to go to prom because if I miss my senior prom I will regret it… So, what do I do? Well of course, I get a date and make plans. I was thinking about this today and why am I doing this?

Sadly enough, I’m doing this because its socially acceptable. People don’t want to have regrets, it’s the simple truth. So, when you hear other people’s regrets you don’t let yourself make the same mistake. I dislike regrets as much as the next person so of course I’m going to prom. But now I’m thinking what if I regret going? I’d only regret going because I knew I was going so I wouldn’t regret it. Make sense?

 

OR am I just thinking too much about it?

 

Nah, I’m pretty sure I’m thinking too much about it. I’ve had two dreams about what could go wrong with prom neither of which are realistic situations assuming my date isn’t a cannibal and our restaurant doesn’t serve dog.  

 

The truth is social standards make me so mad! I don’t want to be part of them yet they are impossible to escape especially at my age in my environment.

Really, I think too hard. And I have ADD because I started this blog like an hour ago and have taken several detours, facebook stops, and youtube breaks for the sake of not having to think about prom!

I’ll update you guys tomorrow. maybe. night

I <3 Sunburn?!?

There is something completely enjoyable about a sunburn. No, really. They remind me of being care-fee. Today I got the first sunburn I’ve had in a very long time… and it feels good! Think about, was there ever a time where you got a sunburn and didn’t have a good time getting it? Swimming, vacationing, hiking, all worth the semi permanent sun damage.

My brother and I took the four wheelers out today, and mind you it was my first time. I am the cautious one and he has had like a billion trips to the ER. Interesting combo, we make. He’s flying off of jumps and I’m like yelling “brother, this is scary, go slower, I don’t like going down steep hills!” but it was fun, I loved it!

My parents are funny, its like they don’t believe I like enjoyable things. My interests include the news, debating, reading, coffee dates (according to my family). So whenever anything concerning adrenaline and/or risk catches my attentions my house freaks out a little bit. But I like to keep them on there toes, they never know what is around the corner for me. I have to outdo myself every time, so any ideas… hit me up.

But tonight as I sit with my eyes still stinging from all of the dirt that managed to get around my extra large lensed sunglasses and shiny pink face, I think about all of the times where I should have taken a risk. Some of these times I did came too late, but that is just Kara. Always maybe a little too cautious. I do think the world does need a few Kara’s though. If everybody operated like my brother, we would have a huge mess on our hands.

Safe is good, safe in comfortable. I haven’t a problem with safe, but that feeling of your heart picking up pace and blood thickening, the pressure. It’s some times needed!

Welcome Back.

hey there,

Yes, I know. It has been a while. BUT, debate is over and I may return to my blog. I finished the season up at the state tournament this last weekend, and it was bittersweet. I have definitely gained relationships that I never thought I would. I love my team so much. I literally talk about them wherever I go and I tell everybody (even strangers) about how great they are. I was even considering not going so far away for college because I wanted to stay close to them. On that note, I have decided to attend….

 

KANSAS STATE UNIVERSITY!

I am super excited, but at the same time I can’t believe I am doing this. The main reason I chose KSU is because of their killer speech team (which I have a scholarship for!) and the time I spent there has really had an impact on me, they were great and it just feels like a home away from home. I truly love it!

Again, I just can’t believe I am where I am today. So many things have changed for me in the last year it is crazy. I find myself wanting different things, not wanting others. I’m just stuck in this stage and I am sooo uncomfortable with it. I don’t know what I want, where I’ll be in five years, who I want to be with, what I want for lunch. Never in my life have I ever been so indecisive.

I often think I wish just had somebody to hold me so I could cry… but then I tell myself things will work themselves out and not to worry and that tears aren’t worth it. And then I use this term ‘things’ because I’m not sure what will work itself out. Things is a dirty word. It’s broad, it doesn’t describe anything in particular, it is just not me, and yet I keep using it loosely.  I throw it around like people will know what I’m talking about. But the truth is, I haven’t even come close to knowing what I want.

Last night an old friend asked me what I wanted to do after college, after letting out a deep sigh I replied, “I’ll figure it out, I just don’t know what I love yet” he thought that was an acceptable answer, and to a certain extent I do too. Except there is one thing I do know that I did love, though he never caught it. I’ll leave it at that.

All in all, I return from the nerd abyss slightly better than okay. I don’t think I’ve ever been this emotional and yet so hollow at the same time. Things are going somewhere, and that in the slightest is everything I could ask for, so I’m gonna do it up!

 

My Wonderful Partner: Emma!

It Really was a Team Effort :)

I feel like I am making an appearance on my own blog, that is how crazy my life has been! Though things have been quieting down.

After four years of wanting out of high school, I've finally reached a place where I don’t want to leave. This weekend my debate team did SO SO SO good. I am so proud of everybody. We have become such a close team (well some of us) and now I don’t want to leave them. All of the girls I debate with have become like my sisters. They are all freshmen but they have literally become my best friends and I have no clue how I will leave them at the end of this year.

I’ve determined that there is one term that describes senior year and it is “rollercoaster ride”. I went for two weeks crying literally every time I was alone over what college I’m going to chose to being the happiest person in the world. I really hope the rest of my life is not like this because I feel bi polar, given some scholarship money had something to do with it, I still feel totally drained. At the end of the week I just wanna have dinner with the debate girls and laugh over nerdy, political jokes.

After working together to finish off an amazing season, I feel like this is the closest I’ve been to having a real team. Every time I see the girls in the hall we still relish over how awesome Saturday was and how we are proud of each other. They have restored my faith in people most days. They aren’t selfish in the slightest bit. They credit everybody else on the team for their success and I’m so in love with the atmosphere we have going. Like I said, I have no clue how I’m going to leave them.

 

Pictures!

Open Ended Still.

Finally. I return to my blog.

I’m noticing a pattern in my life, and I find it interesting. This thought of being open minded has just started sticking to me. My first hour is philosophy and pretty much the introduction to this class was about being open minded.

 

Now it just seems so weird to look at people who don’t have an open mind at all. I feel almost liberal. And as I think about the way I think, I have to thank my mom and dad. They have never pushed religion onto me, they have never suggested I become a member of a certain political party. Obviously, I have picked up on what they value and adapted it to myself but whatever I have thought differently about doesn’t upset them.

 

One of my friends’ family is very different from mine. They are a pretty traditional Mexican family, and from what I’ve witnessed, there is so much more control in their household than mine. My parents and I are open and talk and communicate and negotiate when needed. This friend’s sister is dating a guy none of her family is truly fond of and her mom holds so much against her for it. She lives at home and is far old enough to be living on her own but doesn’t because her mom would rather her live there. In America, even if our parents wanted us to stay we wouldn’t, but she has so much respect for her family that she does… until recently, any way. My friend called me to tell me that her sister had left and wasn’t coming back. Her mom had said that if she decided to marry this guy that there would be certain ramifications such as not having any contact with the rest of the family.

 

I love this family, they are so energetic, and bold, and full of life. They’re funny and crazy, but they lack understanding for each others feelings, almost. I didn’t even know really what to tell my friend, she was so mad at her sister for leaving, but I just can’t be. I’ve grown up in this world where my parents want me to live a life I call my own, a life I live for me.

 

And as much as I want to think that her mom is wrong, its just the difference in culture. They are very set on tradition and family morals; everything is very black and white, this or that, him or us.

 

What I find most saddening though is the fact that her mom will never change her mind, will never think that its okay for her sister to be with her boyfriend (they’ve been dating for close to 7 years and are now engaged, I guess). I want her mom to see how happy she is, how smart she is, how committed she is, and how strong she is. I’ve considered these people my family, they probably see me as much as my own family does. And I know they love each other, but they don’t show it the way my family does, and the are so set in their ways it pains me.

 

So, what do you think, is she being close-minded or just acting on what values that she was taught according to her culture?

And should it be our culture which defines the way we think, or is that something we just can’t help?

Top 2010.

So I’m gearing up for ringing in the new year, but I don’t want to forget about 2010 just quite yet. I’m going to recap some of my favorite things/moments, I’ll include links and everything cool like that!

 

Top clothing brands:

This year I fell in love with I <3 Ronson. It’s a clothing line found at JC Penny, which is even greater because its not so pricey, the designs are hard to explain, they’re pretty much me, if that helps at all lol

http://www.glamour.com/fashion/blogs/slaves-to-fashion/2009/04/i-heart-charlotte-ronsons-i-he.html 

 

And not that its any different from years past but Victoria’s Secret PINK line is a total favorite. I’m such an easy going, relaxin’ kinda girl and these sweats are the absolute best.

http://www.flirtcosmetics.com/index.tmpl?ngextredir=1 

 

Top Make-up/scents:

As far as make up ive become addicted to FLIRT! found at khols and Victoria Secret make up.

http://www.flirtcosmetics.com/index.tmpl?ngextredir=1

http://www.victoriassecret.com/beauty

 

In 2010 I wore so much Love Rocks from VS, see link above. It smells….. hot. It’s not sweet its more of a “spicy, I could kick your ass” scent. I love it.

 

Entertainment:

I loved NBC’s “Outlaw” but that was cancelled…. so no link, but the show was amazing. I miss it.

 

Tons of huge movies came out: Eclipse, Harry Potter, Inception…. but I actually loved “Last Three Days” it was a good one, Robert Pattenson’s sex hair is hard to beat, but this movie kept me on the edge of my seat so the award goes there. ha!

 

Random TOPS!

Top social networking site goes to……… TWITTER. Because I talk to ta select few on my page and its all so random. I can let the truth be free and announce when im tired of sluts, and nobody comments me all concerned like kara, that’s bad, kara calm down. Because they’re probably tired of sluts too, that’s why the jumped over to twitter.

http://twitter.com

 

Top concert I attended: Gym Class Hero’s….. only because I snuck in…. and got a contact high. LOL but really, energy was great, music was amazing, touched Travie….

 

2010 brought lots of adventure, I mean LOTS. But my favorite was road trippin’ to Kansas with my best friend Kamryn. Getting lost on an amry base (sort of) random hardcore techno in the middle of KS. Good times.

 

Best memory of 2010 goes to…… New Years Eve… yes, that counts, and no my memory of that night isn’t the greatest. JK! There are probably more amazing memories than I can even begin to list, but that was the very first one.

 

My top obsessions throughout the year included my snuggie, henna, anything made from hemp, plaid, candles, Gandhi. I didn’t think I was that indi-hippie, guess so.

 

2011 is going to be full of so many new changes. New school, new friends, new place, new life. I’m so glad to look back on 2010 and see how worth it was. I had awesome friends help create unforgettable memories, an awesome family supporting me through everything I did, a little love…. 2010 is a year I’m proud of, I learned a lot about myself and was me the entire time. Too many people to thank for how fabulous my life has been these last 12 months.

 

My year in silly photography! 

		2010 Rewind VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

You Can’t NOT be Happy at Christmas Time

It is almost Christmas! I am soooo excited! This is probably the first year in a long time that there are presents under the tree that I have no clue what they are.

 

This break came at exactly the right time, and so far its been awesome. I’ve really been in this place lately where my close friends and family are most important to me, and I want them to know that. For my family for Christmas I found a huge picture frame that holds like 24 photos and I’m filling with pictures of my parents before they were married, pictures of my brother and I when we were little, and current pictures. Its awesome, best present I’ve ever given. For my friends, with everybody's present is a card. So far I’ve gotten more compliments on the cards rather than the gifts, that makes me so happy because they weren’t generic at all, I put a lot of meaning into cards when I write them.

 

Christmas has a way of making people think differently, and I wish it were the same way all year. I’ve been channeling into everything that’s good in life: my family, friends, laughing, NOT stressing. For a while I was sorta down over a person… but why when the best is to come? I’ve got everything I need right now, and it all makes me very happy.

 

Are you sick of that word yet? “Happy”. Well, I so am, and I hope you are too!

 

Something weird happened this past week, and I feel the need to share. There is this new music venue I’m totally into right now. The people who own it are pretty much the coolest people I’ve ever met. Any way, one of my best friends and I are telling another friend about it and he asks us if they’d do a rap battle. So we go talk to them at an open mic night. We walk in and ask Aaron (the sound guy) if we can talk to Kevin (the owner) so he takes like up these back steps into this apartment, I totally felt apart of the mafia, it was cool. So we pitch the idea and he tells us, “yeah, yeah, we’d be down for a rap battle, we just don’t really have an audience for hip-hop. We really need promoters, do you guys want to be our hip-hop promoters?” Turns out we get a cut of whatever they make from the turnout. So what am I now? Yes, I am in fact a hip-hop promoter. Never would have guessed, huh?

 

I’m taking this opportunity as a chance to possibly change my life. I know, drastic. But never in a billion years would I have guessed I’d be asked to promote hip-hop music for an alternative venue. So maybe this is telling me that there is more to life than what I’ve planned out so far. What if I decide I want to manage music or own a venue? And never before in my life would I have been okay with that decision, but right now, I could totally see myself doing something like that and feeling like I have everything. why not? For too long I’ve had a definition for happy, but what’s wrong with finding it? Right now, everything that is going on in my life makes me happy. I’m in love with it.

 

Things happen how they’re supposed to, truly! Just put everything aside and you’ll figure out what matters.

 

I wish everybody a very Merry Christmas and entire holiday season. Be safe! I hope Santa brings it all

I want:

1. A better ACT score

2. Musical talent

3. Things to keep on goin’ where they are headed!

4. oh and a new digital camera (lol)